By Denise Vaughan
I was sharing with a friend a few months ago that I had really been struggling with feeling alone. This is not completely off base, as I live alone, therefore I am physically alone, a good amount of time. However, the feelings I was struggling with ran a bit deeper than this. It is difficult for me to even explain, but I’ll try. I think every person desires to be known, to be seen, to have a witness to their life. It’s simple things, like someone knowing when you leave for work and if you got home late, someone who is around to see that I’m extra tired today or if I’m thinking about something. It’s something as simple as the feeling I’ve had when I’m traveling for work, arrive at the hotel, check in and realize that no one is dying to know I arrived safely. Mostly, I wade through these circumstances, try to avoid pity parties and keep moving, but every once and awhile the feelings come and wallop me and well to be honest, I feel downright sad and alone.
It wasn’t long after this conversation with my friend that I was sitting in a workshop and God used the instructor to drop a truth into my spirit. As I sit here right now, I am not sure how the little nugget she shared related to the subject of the workshop, although I’m certain it did! All I know is that when she shared it, her words shot straight to this heart. The instant welling of tears in my eyes were an obvious indicator 🙂 She mentioned a person in the bible not often talked about, Hagar. The trainer said and Hagar said to the Lord, “You are the God who sees me”. In that moment, I knew that statement was something I needed to listen to and hold onto and this woman Hagar was someone I needed to investigate a bit further.
I won’t go into the whole tangled web that Hagar was a part of (check out Genesis 16 for more), but the short version is that Hagar was a maid in the household of Abraham and Sarai. God had given Abraham a promise that he would be the father of countless generations. There was one big hitch to the plan, at least from Abraham and Sarai’s perspective. Sarai was unable to conceive, so they came up with a solution and had Hagar be a surrogate. As one can imagine, especially us ladies, this caused quite a bit of angst in the relationship between Hagar and Sarai. While there is much that could be said about Abraham and Sarai’s decision to take matters into their own hands instead of trusting God, I want to focus on Hagar. The relationship with Sarai turned very sour and she ran, she wanted out of her mess. Pregnant, alone in the middle of a desert. I imagine she probably felt used and uncared for, I really can’t imagine the pain of her predicament. It’s at that very moment that an angel sent from God, shows up on the scene to speak to Hagar. He knew where to find her, he knew the whole sordid mess and he knew what the future would hold. He gave instruction and promise. This encounter leads Hagar to exclaim, “You are the God who sees me!”
When I heard those words “You are the God who sees me”, they brought such comfort to my heart. I do have a witness to my days, to my moments, to my moods, He sees me. He sees you too. He sees the struggle, He sees the mess, He sees the quandary, He sees you trying, He sees you! We may have to walk through some stuff and we may not want to, but He sees us. We may have to struggle and persevere and we will likely grow weary, but He sees us! It was in Hagar’s struggle and desperation that she saw God and realized that He saw her. Maybe it’s in our struggles and our tough circumstances that we just want to run and hide from, that we can finally realize that God sees us and maybe we can learn to see Him a little clearer? Food for thought and comfort for this girl’s soul. Be encouraged my friends, He is the God who sees you!
Denise Vaughan has ministered over the years as a worship leader, women’s ministries leader, speaker, and writer. Denise is currently putting her vulnerability to practice and writing her first book regarding her personal weight loss journey. Check out Denise’s insights at www.neeserisms.com.