By Sandra Guisinger
I am one of the most task oriented people I know. In my years of youth ministry, I had a few young ladies brave enough to tell me that when I was focused on something, I would completely forget the people around me, and it made me look like a jerk. There have been many work days, where the ladies I work with, want to enjoy the lunch break and spend time in fellowship and relax. I could not stand it. I often spent the entire time listing all that still had to be done and itching to get back to it. Over the last few years I have asked God to help me work on this, not get tunnel vision, and run right over everyone around me. The first thing He did was show me that this is how I actually approach Him. This is what He told me:
- You have set aside your first love for your own style of loving and worshiping Me.
- You have allowed what you are doing to become bigger than who I am.
- You have mistaken my intentions, and you are seeking to earn My love instead of living in my love.
So what now? Any time I feel that tunnel vision closing in, my tasks mattering more than God and everyone else, including my family, I take 5 minutes and remind myself of three things.
- I think back to the first time I felt His love, and remember that I have done nothing to deserve it. I remember the first moment, where the filth of who I am, was washed in the glory of who He is.
- I remember the sense of awe that came as his mercy washed over me, and how small I felt in light of how awesome He is.
- I allow Him to woo me again. Like a first date or honeymoon, I allow the joy of His love to be the center of my focus.
In those 5 minutes, everything else fades away. He reminds me that everything else pales in comparison to how much He loves me and always has loved me, even before I knew Him. Then I can go back to what I need to do without forgetting how important the people around me are, and how big the God I serve is.
I’m just along for the ride on the crazy adventure God has me on. I’m still exploring who I really am outside of mom and wife, and struggling with the feeling that maybe I am being selfish. But who God created us to be is bigger than our current season, so I will explore who that is and how it fits into the season we are in and reached beyond it. – Sandra Guisinger You can find more blogs by Sandra at I’m Supposed to be Who?
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