I think my husband deserves a do-over on his Father’s Day. Outside of some good wishes and a sweet and thoughtful gift from his two adoring sons (a New Mexico State license plate cover), my husband spent the day serving others. Father’s Day ended with a late night run to Whole Foods for his choice of dinner options from the pre-made section (sushi) then arriving home to find the gift I had ordered for him was backordered.
But, of course, he would never think it was a bust. Why? Because he has the ability to see the good in every situation and not dwell on the negative. As I reflected on how much I admire and respect these characteristics in my husband and what a great example he is, not only to me but to our kids, I thought I would write down some other attributes about him that I love and have learned from.
My husband is…
Attentive to people details: If you come to our house, Mark will remember your favorite drink, food or something else significant that you like. We have a friend who likes caffeine-free diet Coke. We don’t drink soda, but Mark will make a special trip to the store to make sure we are stocked up on caffeine-free diet Coke when that friend comes to our house. When Mark and I were dating, we made a list of things we wanted to achieve or have in the future. On my list, I wrote that I wanted to have fresh flowers in my house every week. To this day, 14 years later, Mark brings me roses every week! My husband’s goal: to see other’s happy.
Practice of active presence: Presence means different things to different people. My husband is not only present in a physical way but is active and invested in making a contribution to the relationship, team or organization. When he is at a baseball game, he is preparing the field, coaching, or keeping score. If he is in the kitchen, you will find us all in the kitchen cooking together (Thank goodness, because he is a better cook than me). If he is part of an organization, he doesn’t just take up a seat and comment on how other people could do it better. He actually volunteers his time to make a difference.
No worries: We have an unspoken “no fretting allowed” rule in our house. This is relatively hard for me, since I like the idea of control and a plan (note, I said: idea of control and a plan). There are many times that I would like Mark to iron out all the “what ifs” of our schedule, goals, and struggles. He always has a better idea: how about we focus on today and not worry about tomorrow’s “what ifs”. Hum…that sounds like someone else I know. Jesus said, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 3:34 NIV).
Sacred and the secular: Many Christians believe that there is a dividing line between what is sacred and what is secular. There is a belief that sacred (practice or activities of the church) is good and secular (worldly) things are bad. But God is in all things and created all people. That means that equal attention and care should be given to everything we do. When my husband commits himself to a task, regardless of its nature (majestic or ordinary) Mark never gives less than 100 percent commitment, dedication, and energy. Giving our best at church and leaving the garbage for the world to see does not bring anyone closer to Christ. My husband has taught me that we are not on earth to impress our church friends with our actions but that we should be the same in church as we are outside the church.
Humility: Although I could go on with other characteristics that come to my mind, like accepting, a man of excellence, intelligent, courageous and confident, I will stop at humility since Mark is the last person to want his positive attributes plastered all over Facebook.
So honey, I love you and thank you for being an amazing husband and father. I appreciate who you are and all that I have learned from you, as the man of character and integrity that God created you to be! Happy Father’s day!